I know everyone loses their temper sometimes, but that doesn’t make me feel any better.

So what do I do to avoid losing my temper?  I just keep focusing on how I feel after I’ve lost my temper.  I feel like I go to a very lonely place, thinking I am the only one that yells at my kids.  I feel like a bad mother, and that really hurts.  Remembering how bad this feels sometimes helps me keep it together.

I find that it also helps when I choose my power struggles, both with my toddler and my teenager.  I decide what is really important to me, and I hone in on that.  I try giving my children a few choices, so they don’t feel like I’m deciding everything.

I think the most important things I’ve learned is that time out isn’t just for kids.  When I feel at the edge of snapping at my children, I take a time out for myself.  As long as I know they are in a safe place, I call a friend, go in the kitchen and make myself a cup of coffee, listen to music, or work out.  Some parents I know call the Parental Stress Line.  When I have taken care of myself for a bit, I’m more ready to take on the challenges of parenting.